THE EPIC TALE OF SUPER AMERICA
by flying-mint-bunny
Summary: This fic contains the quest of Super!America and Maple Man to retrieve the kidnapped Mc Donalds from the evil Dr. Doitsu and his sidekick, Pasta Boy. Guaranteed to make you go "WTF"! xD I got the prompt from the kink meme :D


It was just another day for Super!America. He had spent his morning kicking zombie butt, as well as saving his citizens from his arch nemesis Mr. Monkey Mc Evil later on in the afternoon. Currently he was flying through the air thinking about just how awesome he was.

_Ya ha! I can't wait to brag to Brittania Angel and the others about how I totally OWNED that monkey freak. I'm such a hero! I – mmm... I'm hungry. _

The prospect of eating burgers in his near future in mind, America slowly descended towards the city, searching for the golden arches of a McDonalds. But, much to his surprise, there weren't any in sight. He circled around the city a few times, still unable to find a McDonalds.

_How is that possible? We're in America – there's __**always **__a McDonalds! _

America reached the ground on a street corner where he knew a McDonalds once was, only to find an empty space. Scratching his head, America turned towards a nearby couple who were staring at him (probably due the fact he had descended _right in front of them_, and that he was wearing a red, white and blue sailor suit as well as a bright blue cape with the word "hero" on it), and asked them "Do you know what happened to the McDonalds that used to be right here?"

"It was kidnapped! So were all the others," explained the girl.

"What? Who did this?" exclaimed America, outraged

"It was the evil Dr. Doitsu, and his companion Pasta Boy!" she explained

America immediately took off, flying to Dr. Doitsu's lair.

"Wait. How is any of that even possible?" asked girl's boyfriend, clearly baffled by the whole exchange

"I dunno. Just go with it," she said

Meanwhile Super!America was still flying towards Dr. Doitsu's lair, when he received a call from his brother, whom he called Maple Man.

"Hey Maple Man, good timing!" shouted America

"Ugh, _please_ don't call me that, it's the lamest superhero name ever," said Cana- err... Maple Man

America just laughed, ignoring the comment completely.

"Anyways, you have to come with me! It's an emergency! All the McDonalds have been kidnapped!"

"..."

"Maple man?"

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"Of course! Why would I joke about something as serious as the kidnapping of the awesomest fast food restaurant in the whole entire universe?"

The Canadian just sighed, and made a mental note: never call America, even if just to remind him of the meeting of the SOS [Superheroes Only Society] Brigade meeting, which was tomorrow. It will only end with him taking whatever sanity you have left.

"So anyways we need to head to the evil Dr. Doitsu's lair – you coming?" asked Super!America

"Yeah, sure," sighed the Canadian, "Want me to get the others?"

"Nah, we'll be fine without them," he replied, "Anyways, let's go!"

The two met up in front of the evil Dr. Doitsu's lair.

"So this is what it looks like, huh..." said Canada, as he stared at Doitsu's lair, which was shaped like a giant piece of wurst.

"It would be much better if it was shaped like a burger," stated America

"Yeah, yeah..."

The two made their way through his lair without much trouble at all. This was mostly due to the fact that all of the guards were Italian, and thus were either sleeping, preoccupied with eating pasta, or waving white flags in surrender once they saw Super!America and Maple Man. Why on earth Dr. Doitsu had decided to let Pasta Boy take care of the security I do not know.

The two brothers approached the final room, where Pasta Boy had fallen asleep on Dr. Doitsu's lap, who managed to be both irritated and blushing.

"Should we just let them be?" asked Canada staring at the two through the crack under the door

"No! A hero never gives up!" declared America, and burst through the door, causing all Germany x Italy – I mean Dr. Doitsu x Pasta Boy fangirls – to facepalm and glare at America.

Dr. Doitsu immediately stood up and moved away from Pasta Boy in embarrassment, causing Pasta Boy to hit his head on the floor.

"Oww... that hurt," said Pasta Boy, rubbing his head, "Doitsu, can we – AHH! IT'S SUPER!AMERICA AND... AND..."

"And he's my sidekick, Maple Man!" stated America proudly.

"When did I become his sidekick?" muttered Canada, "And what's with all this Maple Man crap. What kind of idiot-typing-behind-a-computer-screen came up with that one?"

"Huh? Did you say something?" asked America

"No nothing at all..." said Canada

"Anyways, I demand you returned all the kidnapped McDonalds!" shouted America

"Huh? What're you talking about," asked Dr. Doitsu

"You stole them! A random girl I met told me so!" declared America, while his brother face-palmed at his stupidity, and wondered why he had agreed to come in the first place.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about th-"

"You're lying! Canada, use your maple beam!"

"My _what_?"

America rolled his eyes and said, "Your maple beam! Just say maple beam while stuttering, and strike a cute pose!"

Canada sighed and blushingly muttered "m-m-m-maple beam!", and did a sideways peace sign over his right eye. Much to his surprise, and the surprise of everyone in the room excluding America, maple syrup spurted out of his eye, and hit Dr. Doitsu in the face.

"What the hell?" said Dr. Doitsu, wiping the maple syrup off his face.

"Now to finish him off!" shouted America, and charged towards Dr. Doitsu, yelling "FALCON PUUUUUNCH!"

England could only stare at America, who was explaining the awesome dream he had the night before.

"And then my fist connected with his face, and it was AWESOME," declared America with a grin.

"Only you, America," sighed England, "Only you..."


End file.
